I just did not believe...

I felt like you are the one,

I thought you are the one,

I dreamt of it,

I wished for it,

but I did not believe it.

I grab your hand,

I just do not want to let the chance go by.

I let you go,

I crossed a line, my heart wavered. 

I just did not believe.

I should have just coolly let that day end.

and go for it again the next time I see you.

that was what I plan to do all along.

but I guess I was just too weak.

just too weak. just did not believe.

I want your attention.

I want your love.

I want you to want me

Future, present, and past

I found future then I met present, but now they are past.

Future is 
bright, independent, 
hardworking, intelligent, 
blur, slow, busy, 
cute...beautiful. 
I look forward to it. 
I dreamt about it.

Present is attractive, crazy, 
vivacious, stunning, passionate... 
I am living in every moment of it. 

Then here comes past, 
so fast, like a sudden gale. 
I will never get to know that future, 
and present ends. 

It is all in the past now.
And what lingers is just 
loneliness and loneliness. :)

不能后悔

不能后悔...

一点都不能

我没权后悔

自己画的线

却 明知跃过

选择要离开

所以我本人

没权力后悔

但我不明白

我的心为何

感到这么痛苦

好痛苦

超痛苦

A trip back to my Childhood

Last few weeks, I went back to Johor Bahru. I drove a quarter of the journey, going up to 150km/h till it rained so heavily and it was night. Sight then was a big blur and red alert was on (I'm short-sighted, making it worse). Pretty scary experience, can't really see the white lines on the road and the other cars till they were closer.

Went back there with my dad to check out on our old house which is going to be put on sale soon. I spent around 7 years in JB till the end of Standard 2.  The house was a mess especially the garden. The garden which was once beautiful with bushes, trees, flowers, playful rabbits at one corner and a dog not excluding the pond which I used to jump in for a bath when it is in the process of cleaning. 

I kind of remember how it looked like back then when I was a real monkey climbing the front gate, the stairs from the outside and treating it as a slide, going out to my neighbours house to play, drinking their delicious, splendid, herbal chicken soup. It was real fun without worries. Now I don't think my childhood neighbour friends will remember me, and we won't be as close as we were. I didn't get to meet them as they were outstation this trip, kind of disappointed. But their dad welcome us in to the house and it was almost exactly like how it once was. =)

I walk around my neighbourhood, trying to recollect memories on where was my first crush's house last time. I don't think she's there any more though. Just out of curiosity. We always went to the playground nearby to sit on swings after school. I went there just to see her I guess. Can't get of her enough in school, we were in different classes in standard 2, I dropped class. =( Hahah.

It was a great trip back down to JB, brings back memories, I wonder how are all my friends there doing now, even though I do not remember their names nor their faces much any more. Well, wish them all the best, and I definitely hope to meet them again, so I hope they remember me and call out when they see me. =)

Desires

every guy has a fantasy of their desires, we are guys, designed this way.
well, my current top priority fantasy/desire is getting

a Lap Pillow!

next will be...

Cuddle together under a Blanket watching a Horror Movies at night

(girls seem to like horror movies? I'm not a fan tho)

Just a common Sling your Arm under mine

Lay your Head onto my Shoulder

Walking on the Beach leaving a pair of Footprints

Fighting over Food and Things

& simply Doing Crazy Stuffs Together

And other hidden desires... which are meant to be kept hidden. ;D

T&C applies

1. A girl that I approve of. 

2. As long as condition 1 is met

3. Refer to condition 1

TYVM :D